This is a conversation I had with a cab driver in Sandakan in Borneo, Malaysia. It shows one way someone navigates the complexities of life:
She is originally from Brunei. Her father is from Brunei, and her mother from Sabah/Malaysia. Her dad has decided to retire here in Sundakan.
She is the youngest daughter, so her parents expect her to stay back and help take care of them (a common expectation of youngest daughters across Southeast Asia). She doesn’t mind this. She likes staying with her family and finds their expectations reasonable.
She studied medical laboratory studies at university, and she worked in that field in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia’s big city) until the covid pandemic caused her to get laid off. She then did unrelated office work still in Kuala Lumpur. She said overall covid really hurt Malaysia’s economy, and it’s been struggling since. She was laid off at two different jobs during the pandemic.
Her last job in Kuala Lumpur ended about a month ago this January. She came back to stay with her family here in Sandakan, a small city on the eastern side of Malaysian’s Borneo. She loves it here. It’s so much less stressful, and things are cheap here (much cheaper than in either Kuala Lumpur or Brunei). She enjoys working for Grab because she can choose her own hours and still make enough to pay for things.
She said that here in Sandakan a really nice apartment (furnished and with things like AC) costs about 1,700 ringgit per month (about $425 a month), but there are even cheaper ones for about 1,200 ringgit (or $300) per month. Here she can afford her own place and her own car, so she doesn’t have to live with her parents. She plans to stay here for about a year.
When I asked her whether she felt happy and content with the life that she has built for herself so far, she said that she feels like some of her needs aren’t being met. She mentioned that she probably needs a vacation and said her next scheduled vacation is in August, a trip to Bali with her boyfriend and her cousins.
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