
I live with all my
Contradictions, wanting more,
But enjoying bread
Context (if you’re interested):
It is based on a poem by David Ignatow and my ever-present grounded idealism.
The Cracked Door – Daily Haikus
Reflections on life, the world, and society. Come explore with me.

I live with all my
Contradictions, wanting more,
But enjoying bread
Context (if you’re interested):
It is based on a poem by David Ignatow and my ever-present grounded idealism.

In the world made of
Light and darkness, what really
Stands out is the pink.
Context (if you’re interested):
This poem just popped into my head as I was drifting off to sleep one night.

You can pile on your grand counterarguments
New information, new excuse
I can present you with happened
But there’s nothing I can do
To make you accept you were wrong
The story behind this poem; only read this part if you’d like to hear my personal story. Skip if it you’d prefer to glean your own meaning from the poem:
I wrote this poem to help me vent my emotions about a specific dispute that happened. I am trying to convey how humans tend to event more and more arguments to solidify their initial impression in their mind even as more facts made it clear their position was wrong.

I did not stop talking to you
Because I am a cowardI did not stop listening to your shouts
Because I could handle it.I did not stop pretending nothing was wrong
Because I wanted to ruffle feathersI did not reject the apology you never really gave
Because I do not value mercy.I did not stop being with you
Because I want to force your hand.It is not about you.
It is about what I want in my life
And it’s not someone
Who would hurt me
Denying there’s anything wrong with that.
Blast from the past:
Why do you prize me
More when I had gusto but
Lacked any substance?

Clouds dream of giving way,
Flowers dream of mud they can sink their roots into.
The August breeze never came,
Making the concrete seethe with heat
Against my wetting forehead.
If I don’t see you amidst the bustling crowd,
I shall meet you wilted within the mall’s AC.
(A parody on this Chinese poem from the Tang Dynasty, but about the heat in August in China)
Clouds dream of silken robes, flowers dream of fair faces,
The spring breeze brushes against the railing, where dew is thick and rich.
If not seen atop the Mountain of Grouped Jade,
I shall meet you beneath the moon at the Jade Terrace.

I look in the mirror
Thinking about how much
These years have made me look like you.
Each new wrinkle on my face is a story
Of a moment we could have had together.
Although I will always cherish
The memory of the hospital bed
Where I saw you die
Blast from the past:
You may not see it now
Or ever,
And it may feel scary,
But
Holding you accountable
Is for your own good.

Tired but too awake to sleep,
I look at my computer screen
Hoping writing this poem will help
Someone know how I feel right now
Blast from the past:
Oh, to what we do
To be able to have this
Little thing called cash

Staring on the mountain’s peak,
The lands sprawl around me.
Towns come and go,
Tucked between the curves of the mountains,
Mountains which rise and fall
Into the horizon like a wave.All alone, I see my entire world.
Is this all there is?
How can I feel satisfied?
I would always regret
If I never tried my climb
Blast from the past:
Gravity’s the one
Fact everyone knows about
Always there beneath

I did not leave because
I thought the situation was hopeless.I did not leave because
I thought things would continue how they have.I did not leave because
There’s nothing left for me to learn here.I did not leave because
I wasn’t willing to try.The world is big
And sometimes you must expand
To come back
And see the war
As the squabble that it really is.
Blast from the past:
Targets on my head
Cannot bring me to my knees
I cast my shadow.

(Today’s poem is a follow-up from this poem last week:)
I built my home
Where the river pushes
Its racing waters
Into the peaceful oceanWhere people sell
Their renovated traditions
To eager tourists
To afford their shacks
On the side of palace ruinsWhere the birds chirp
And monkeys cry
Warning of my comingWhere my friends
Want to meet in malls
So AC can temporarily remove
The sweltering heat from their livesWhere everyone compresses
The same wheat, corn, and sugar
Into wildly different dishesWhere they bestow me
With precious mass-produced knick-knacks
That I now must press into
My swelling suitcaseWhere I see a new Sisyphus in each place
Rolling a different rock
Up the same mountain
For me to ask whether he’s actually happyWhere I guess good food
Unable to find it again
Amidst the foreign script on their menuWhere a good hotel
Gives way to a bad hotel
To eventually give way to a good one againWhere people ask the same
Three questions about where I’m from,
How long I stay there,
And what I plan to doWhere apples cost
Yet bananas are somehow
Always cheapWhere uniquely majestic birds
All become endangered
By our catsWhere some are afraid
To take their leap
And others too far goneWhere people work
Six days a week
For a monthly income
Less than my plane ticket to get thereWhere the swelling waves
Of curiosity, creativity, and exhaustion
Create the eddies of my lifeWhere my shirt dripping in sweat
From a ten minute walk in the humid sun
Reminds me that here
Even the little things are exertionsWhere the stories of
Others constantly remind me
How I can’t write my ownWhere places
And hikes
And dives
And histories
And cities
Never end,
Always another “and then”
And then, and then, and then
Until even the “and thens” have their own “and thens”Where every adventure blends into one
In the horizon beyond
My closing eyes
Blast from the past:
I have come bearing
A warning of grave danger.
Too bad I forget why.